I’m Back

Maybe you didn’t even realize I was gone! But, some of you noticed I haven’t written for awhile and that my blog was marked private. Due to some contact from the girls’ biological family, I took a break.

As a family, we needed to process the contact – essentially a family member had found the blog and was unhappy with how our stories were portrayed. We took time to process and understand where everyone was coming from. We talked about all of our options for moving forward. The girls and Jeff were ready to keep going forward right away.

I wanted and needed to give the situation space. There are two sides to every story and I wanted to honor and respect the other side. As a foster and adoptive mother, I have always believed in the girls’ biological family – in their place in the girls and our life stories, in their ability to heal and recover, and in their love for their children. Ultimately, after a lot of thought and consideration, I have decided to continue the blog and keep it public. It has been an important outlet for personal healing and I believe that our story has the potential to impact other families, professionals, and systems.

As I move forward, I would like to acknowledge that some of the girls’ biological family has read the blog and disagrees with most of the story that has been presented. We respect and acknowledge this difference of opinion. What we share on this blog is our AND only our story! We appreciate the family reaching out in a respectful way and trust that any future contact will be equally as respectful and in the spirit of healing.

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About Kristin Phoenix

daughter turned teacher turned social worker turned wife turned foster parent turned mom When people who don’t know our family story find out that we fostered and adopted the girls, we generally get one of two reactions…”I would have never known. They look just like you!” or “Oh, how beautiful.” Both of these things are 100% true – on the surface. The picture perfect, shiny, pretty surface. But, just below the surface is a whole lot of mess and brokenness. Our girls endured things that I never even read about in my textbooks. Our family endured things that go completely against the 3 philosophies of safety, permanency, and well-being that the child welfare system is in place to protect. When we have the chance to share a little bit more, the response always goes something like “but…how?!…and why?!” I believe in dreaming big. Part of my dream is a child welfare and healthcare system that would have prevented unnecessary trauma for my girls, my family, and our community. The other part is one of redemption and recovery for everyone involved in our story – which is everyone. I now believe part of why our family endured what we did is so that people would hear our story and ask the hard questions of how and why. With sexual abuse, trauma, foster care, and adoption, we never truly know until we find ourselves in a position of not knowing. Because of the nature of our case, I often found myself in a position of not being able to really answer the hows and whys. I reached a point where staying silent was the only option. Now that our adoptions are finalized, it is time for me to break the silence. This blog is me daring to run after my dreams – even when I find myself out of breath (which is mostly every. single. day.) It is stories of how the collective we have lived up to the Phoenix name and are rising from the ashes to burn bright! I also currently write and edit for Social Justice Solutions
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